Although I'm a photographer, I failed massively at newborn photography. My friend and fellow photographer, Laura, gifted us a newborn session. She is awesome! Here are the images from Charlotte's newborn session.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Sunday, April 10, 2016
my birth story
last prego pic, 39 weeks, 4 days
just got admitted!
view from my birthing suite
sunset from my birthing suite the first night
hooked up to the pitocin for about 6 hours at this point...
first meeting
my AMAZING doula watching over us
my support team
I will try and clean my story up, but there are some details I will need to add that might be too much, so read at your own risk!
On Saturday March 19th we went to bed really late, technically around midnight on Sunday the 20th. As part of my nausea management, I take 1/2 a Unisom each night which makes me really sleepy. I woke up at 2am on Sunday to go to the bathroom ( I usually am up 4-5 times a night to pee). When I crawled back into bed, I laid down on my right side and felt a pop in my belly, like a water balloon popping. I knew instantly what it was and just laid there and waited. About 20 seconds later, I felt the warm fluid leaking from me. My water had broken! I texted my doula who called me and had a few questions. It was clear (a good thing!) and contractions had not yet begun so she said to go back to bed and try and get some rest. My midwife has said that once my water broke, she felt comfortable with me waiting 6 hours before coming in. Most people (and OBGYNs) want you to come in right away, but I wanted to stay home and wait for labor to start. If I were to go in right away, the hospital may want to start intervening sooner.
Of course, I was unable to get any rest because of the excitement and I got up around 5am and bounced on my birth ball trying to get things started. I had a few mild contractions and also started losing pieces of my mucus plug. Around 7:30am I called the Mother Baby Unit (MBU, it's what they call the labor and delivery department here) and let them know what was going on. They said to come on in so they could check me and confirm that my water had indeed broken (I was 100% sure it had).
We slowly packed up the car and made it to the hospital around 9am (7 hours after my water had broken). They hooked me up to the monitors to check for fetal distress and to chart my contractions. They also did a test to confirm the fluid releasing was amniotic fluid (it was). A nurse came in and performed a cervix check and I was only dilated 2-3 centimeters and 60% effaced. They agreed to continue letting me hydrate on my own, but insisted on the hep-lock just in case they needed to hook me up to fluids later on. After some push back, they agreed to allow for intermittent fetal monitoring so that I could move freely and not have to be hooked up to a machine the entire time. A nurse would then come and check Charlotte's HR every 30 minutes to ensure she was handling labor ok.
Throughout the day I labored on my own and was able to snack and drink water. My doula had arrived around 10am once they admitted me and was working with me to get labor to start. We walked the halls, bounced on the birth ball, used a rebozo to "shake the apple tree" as Ina May Gaskin calls it and a few other natural induction techniques. We did these things off and on until it had been 24 hours since my water broke. At this point, my contractions were still not consistent. They were long and strong but not close enough together nor were they continuing. I would have a period of several, then a break for a while. Time is a blur throughout this whole process, so I'm not 100% sure of the time frame of everything. I think I took a few naps, but honestly can't remember how long or when.
At some point the day prior, Charlotte had pooped in the womb. I can't remember when it happened or when they discovered it, but it was on Sunday at some point. I was very fortunate that the OBGYN let me labor all on my own without any interventions for as long as she did. I was also very fortunate that Charlotte was a trooper and was still reactive and happy despite little to no amniotic fluid and being in her own poop.
At 2am on Monday the 21st, 24 hours since my water broke, the OBGYN came to check my cervix again. At this point I was still only 3-4cm dilated and 75% effaced. She stripped my membranes and one last ditch effort to start labor without pitocin. My body was not progressing the way they wanted it to and highly pushed me to start pitocin. I knew I didn't want pitocin because it would definitely lead to an epidural, which I was trying to avoid. She did allow me to take some time and think about it, which was awesome. Most OBGYNs would have hooked me up hours ago, let alone leave the baby in for 24+ hours after my water broke and she pooped.
Around 7am on Monday, I decided to allow them to start the pitocin and asked for the epidural as well because I knew how horrible the contractions would be once they were artificially induced. There was also a new OBGYN on shift now. At this point, I was exhausted and hungry and had progressed such a small amount on my own that I gave in. I didn't want maternal exhaustion to lead to an even worse intervention like a c-section. A couple hours later they started the pitocin and epidural. Because pitocin causes more intense and more frequent contractions, they had to hook me up to the constant fetal monitors to make sure Charlotte was handling the pitocin ok. That along with the epidural meant I was now confined to the bed.
A little while later, I was still feeling everything on my right side while my left was completely numb. The epidural placement was slightly off and didn't take on my right side. They had the anesthesiologist return and attempt to replace the epidural. It did help slightly this time, but I was still feeling more pain on my right side. I also had almost all feeling in my hips and pelvis, but was numb in my legs and my abdomen.
The next 12 hours are a blur. I know I was checked a few more times and was at 6cm, then 8, then 9 and finally 10. I have no idea how often they were checking me but I remember hearing these numbers. They kept cranking up the pitocin too because they said my contractions never formed a pattern. I feel like their monitor was not registering the contractions because I knew they were there and they were strong and frequent. I also dilated and effaced fully so obviously my body was contracting regularly enough to get to that point. The pitocin drip had "levels" and they started it at a level 1. Your body when it is naturally in labor your oxytocin levels are around a level 8. By the time I delivered, they had cranked that shit up to level 17. Even with the epidural, those contractions were far worse than naturally occurring contractions.
I had intense hip pain because they had me propped up with a giant pillow called a peanut to aid my pelvis in opening up. I did use my hypnobirthing techniques to breathe through the contractions. According to George, I was in my zone for hours on end. Hypnobirth really does work! I just wish I was able to apply it to natural contractions and a natural labor. At one point my doula was rubbing my thigh, George was rubbing my back and my mom had a fan on me to cool me down. I remember it lasting about 45 minutes, but George said it was a 6 hour period. Again, hypnobirth allowed me to remove my mind from everything.
Around 8pm on Monday the 20th, the OBGYN said I was fully dilated and effaced and could start pushing. They got the room set up and pediatrics came in to help with Charlotte in case she needed assistance due to pooping in the womb. I started pushing at 10pm. Being on my back and pushing was HORRIBLE. I kept begging him to let me stand. My body felt everything and was telling me to stand up, I needed to stand to get this baby out. I knew laying on my back was working against my body, but I also felt it in the core of my being. Obviously, they wouldn't let me stand because of the epidural. About 2 hours later, I was so exhausted from pushing and being up and laboring for nearly 46 hours that I needed some help. My temperature had also started to rise and a fever would be bad for Charlotte. At midnight on Tuesday the 22nd, Charlotte's HR started to decline and they needed to get her out. The OBGYN had been trying to assist my body in stretching to allow for a large enough opening for her head, he straight up had both hands in me and was pulling and stretching but it wasn't enough. Once her HR dropped, he made the decision to perform an episiotomy. Definitely not what I had wanted, but at this point she needed to be out. It was that or perform an emergency c-section.
At 12:06am on Tuesday March 22nd, Charlotte Maxine Engleheart came into this world! They were unsure if they would need to resuscitate her, but she started crying within seconds of being born. She had no signs of infections, she was definitely a trooper! They wiped her down real quick and then immediately put her on my chest for skin-to-skin. She was so alert right away and was crawling for the boob within minutes of being born. For the next few hours, they left her on my chest to bond. It also took the OBGYN a good hour and a half to repair the damage she did to me when entering our world. Since the epidural never really took, I felt every stitch.
A few random things about my labor and delivery experience. I cussed, a lot. I also birthed butt-ass naked. I was hot and hate clothes in general, so that hospital gown came off real fast. I also remember being in a different room for each stage of my labor. One room where we labored naturally, another room where they started the epidural and pitocin, and then I birthed in another room. I have no idea why my mind thought this way, I was in the same room the entire time!
Of course, I was unable to get any rest because of the excitement and I got up around 5am and bounced on my birth ball trying to get things started. I had a few mild contractions and also started losing pieces of my mucus plug. Around 7:30am I called the Mother Baby Unit (MBU, it's what they call the labor and delivery department here) and let them know what was going on. They said to come on in so they could check me and confirm that my water had indeed broken (I was 100% sure it had).
We slowly packed up the car and made it to the hospital around 9am (7 hours after my water had broken). They hooked me up to the monitors to check for fetal distress and to chart my contractions. They also did a test to confirm the fluid releasing was amniotic fluid (it was). A nurse came in and performed a cervix check and I was only dilated 2-3 centimeters and 60% effaced. They agreed to continue letting me hydrate on my own, but insisted on the hep-lock just in case they needed to hook me up to fluids later on. After some push back, they agreed to allow for intermittent fetal monitoring so that I could move freely and not have to be hooked up to a machine the entire time. A nurse would then come and check Charlotte's HR every 30 minutes to ensure she was handling labor ok.
Throughout the day I labored on my own and was able to snack and drink water. My doula had arrived around 10am once they admitted me and was working with me to get labor to start. We walked the halls, bounced on the birth ball, used a rebozo to "shake the apple tree" as Ina May Gaskin calls it and a few other natural induction techniques. We did these things off and on until it had been 24 hours since my water broke. At this point, my contractions were still not consistent. They were long and strong but not close enough together nor were they continuing. I would have a period of several, then a break for a while. Time is a blur throughout this whole process, so I'm not 100% sure of the time frame of everything. I think I took a few naps, but honestly can't remember how long or when.
At some point the day prior, Charlotte had pooped in the womb. I can't remember when it happened or when they discovered it, but it was on Sunday at some point. I was very fortunate that the OBGYN let me labor all on my own without any interventions for as long as she did. I was also very fortunate that Charlotte was a trooper and was still reactive and happy despite little to no amniotic fluid and being in her own poop.
At 2am on Monday the 21st, 24 hours since my water broke, the OBGYN came to check my cervix again. At this point I was still only 3-4cm dilated and 75% effaced. She stripped my membranes and one last ditch effort to start labor without pitocin. My body was not progressing the way they wanted it to and highly pushed me to start pitocin. I knew I didn't want pitocin because it would definitely lead to an epidural, which I was trying to avoid. She did allow me to take some time and think about it, which was awesome. Most OBGYNs would have hooked me up hours ago, let alone leave the baby in for 24+ hours after my water broke and she pooped.
Around 7am on Monday, I decided to allow them to start the pitocin and asked for the epidural as well because I knew how horrible the contractions would be once they were artificially induced. There was also a new OBGYN on shift now. At this point, I was exhausted and hungry and had progressed such a small amount on my own that I gave in. I didn't want maternal exhaustion to lead to an even worse intervention like a c-section. A couple hours later they started the pitocin and epidural. Because pitocin causes more intense and more frequent contractions, they had to hook me up to the constant fetal monitors to make sure Charlotte was handling the pitocin ok. That along with the epidural meant I was now confined to the bed.
A little while later, I was still feeling everything on my right side while my left was completely numb. The epidural placement was slightly off and didn't take on my right side. They had the anesthesiologist return and attempt to replace the epidural. It did help slightly this time, but I was still feeling more pain on my right side. I also had almost all feeling in my hips and pelvis, but was numb in my legs and my abdomen.
The next 12 hours are a blur. I know I was checked a few more times and was at 6cm, then 8, then 9 and finally 10. I have no idea how often they were checking me but I remember hearing these numbers. They kept cranking up the pitocin too because they said my contractions never formed a pattern. I feel like their monitor was not registering the contractions because I knew they were there and they were strong and frequent. I also dilated and effaced fully so obviously my body was contracting regularly enough to get to that point. The pitocin drip had "levels" and they started it at a level 1. Your body when it is naturally in labor your oxytocin levels are around a level 8. By the time I delivered, they had cranked that shit up to level 17. Even with the epidural, those contractions were far worse than naturally occurring contractions.
I had intense hip pain because they had me propped up with a giant pillow called a peanut to aid my pelvis in opening up. I did use my hypnobirthing techniques to breathe through the contractions. According to George, I was in my zone for hours on end. Hypnobirth really does work! I just wish I was able to apply it to natural contractions and a natural labor. At one point my doula was rubbing my thigh, George was rubbing my back and my mom had a fan on me to cool me down. I remember it lasting about 45 minutes, but George said it was a 6 hour period. Again, hypnobirth allowed me to remove my mind from everything.
Around 8pm on Monday the 20th, the OBGYN said I was fully dilated and effaced and could start pushing. They got the room set up and pediatrics came in to help with Charlotte in case she needed assistance due to pooping in the womb. I started pushing at 10pm. Being on my back and pushing was HORRIBLE. I kept begging him to let me stand. My body felt everything and was telling me to stand up, I needed to stand to get this baby out. I knew laying on my back was working against my body, but I also felt it in the core of my being. Obviously, they wouldn't let me stand because of the epidural. About 2 hours later, I was so exhausted from pushing and being up and laboring for nearly 46 hours that I needed some help. My temperature had also started to rise and a fever would be bad for Charlotte. At midnight on Tuesday the 22nd, Charlotte's HR started to decline and they needed to get her out. The OBGYN had been trying to assist my body in stretching to allow for a large enough opening for her head, he straight up had both hands in me and was pulling and stretching but it wasn't enough. Once her HR dropped, he made the decision to perform an episiotomy. Definitely not what I had wanted, but at this point she needed to be out. It was that or perform an emergency c-section.
At 12:06am on Tuesday March 22nd, Charlotte Maxine Engleheart came into this world! They were unsure if they would need to resuscitate her, but she started crying within seconds of being born. She had no signs of infections, she was definitely a trooper! They wiped her down real quick and then immediately put her on my chest for skin-to-skin. She was so alert right away and was crawling for the boob within minutes of being born. For the next few hours, they left her on my chest to bond. It also took the OBGYN a good hour and a half to repair the damage she did to me when entering our world. Since the epidural never really took, I felt every stitch.
A few random things about my labor and delivery experience. I cussed, a lot. I also birthed butt-ass naked. I was hot and hate clothes in general, so that hospital gown came off real fast. I also remember being in a different room for each stage of my labor. One room where we labored naturally, another room where they started the epidural and pitocin, and then I birthed in another room. I have no idea why my mind thought this way, I was in the same room the entire time!
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